"Staying within the system requires a daily performance of normalcy that feels like a lie. Leaving the system, yet remaining tethered to people who still believe in it, creates a friction that burns through mental energy."
So apt at this time of year, Sarah, thank you! I pull out of most social engagements now as even after almost 40 years of practice at living the lie, it feels increasingly pointless.
My husband, a big drinker and party-goer of 25 years wouldn't ever hear mention of collapse, peak oil or climate change etc., and shut me down from the outset when my children were babies - 25 years of denial and ridicule to both the children and friends....
Needless to say, our relationship didn't survive, but my children, with families of their own now, while kind, are no different to my ex, so if I wish to see them and the grandchildren, any mention of collapse is not tolerated, and I must pretend to be 'normal' - so I play along and discuss schooling, clothes, hair, and holidays.....
At age 74 I live on top of a mountain alone, planting nut trees and accumulating things for the family for when collapse comes. I still work to pay the bills. The family know, but it is taboo to ever acknowledge or ask anything about this exquisitely beautiful place, and they never visit, so I soldier on alone and in increasing silence.
Of course, if I die before everyone is collapse-aware, my children will sell this place. I don't mind as perhaps it will benefit the wildlife!
Diana, I identify with what you have written, as I had a similar experience and am also 74 !
You are doing something beautiful and gifted for the beautiful place you create. That is such a worthwhile legacy that will bring benefit , maybe not to family but there are others who will appreciate what you have done.
Being called a “doomer ‘ and told not to talk about this , is a heavy price to pay to maintain relationships 💝 You are not alone in this experience. We have sold our farm and now live simply and will adapt to what collapse unfolds for us. This has made me mentally and physically and spiritually strong and I am grateful for it all.
Thank you Susan, for your kind words and support which are indeed a comfort. I am so glad you feel strong and glad too that you have someone to share with.
Being silenced is indeed a heavy price to pay to maintain relationships, but is also frustrating, knowing there is so much they could learn, do, and even enjoy. But we love our own unconditionally, so must just accept humanity's fatal denial flaw!
Thanks a lot for this! I was beginning to wonder when someone of my highly estimated writers on the topic would hit the spot on pretty much my considerations and, ultimately, exact situation.
I expect I'm not the only person to experience last week a sense of detachment while spending time with family, children and grandchildren, who are still not fully awake but tied up with quotidian family life within the orbit of the Machine.
It is difficult, but we return to our lone wolf lives, hoping to find others, and hoping that our own pack will rejoin us in the "wilderness" when they are ready.
The so called wilderness to which we exile ourselves is actually a very rich place to be. And there are others finding it as the new world emerges.
Aim for self reliant and self sufficient, but know that that is not enough, just steps on the road.
Great piece! For normal people speaking to normal people (as opposed to climate professionals being paid to speak to people who mostly understand the sitch), attempting to build a collapse aware community is basically impossible.
A stealth networking approach is a wonderful idea. Here’s a passage from something I put on Medium a couple years ago:
“The majority of the non-bunker survival crowd stresses the importance of community building and I’m no different. I just think you should get somewhere that provides a decent chance of survival first. I don’t want my kids to be safe, but miserable. I don’t want them to have no social life at all and no hope of finding a mate. And building community isn’t only about social impacts. Having trustworthy people you can rely on in emergencies is a huge survival advantage. Unfortunately, if you’ve ever tried to engage friends, family, coworkers and neighbors about our impending collapse, you’ll understand just how hard it is to build a community that doesn’t want to be built. So do your best, but please understand this one important and strategic bit. Anybody who knows that you’re preparing for collapse and who isn’t also preparing for collapse is a potential threat when the shit hits the fan.”
What you’re proposing above is an intelligent way to sidestep this little conundrum.
What we really need is some
Collapse aware, computer savvy person to build a site where we can highlight a general area on a map and indicate our preparedness level. Could range from looking to buy land all the way to having a fully off grid, self sufficient homestead. Would allow for planning and networking without trying to create a commune out of whole cloth.
I think overcoming the 'ignorance is bliss' mindset here is difficult. It's hard to fault people ignoring their impending doom, when they've been told for decades that doom is impending. Sandwich boards saying 'the end is nigh' are hardly a modern occurrence. You're absolutely right that finding like-minded folk is difficult but essential. Building a community for the 'after' (whatever after looks like - if there's an after at all) is key, but until the aforementioned doom is on people's doorsteps (literally - whether that's flood, fire or famine) I think any suggestion of community building will seem far-fetched silliness to most.
Yes, sadly, I agree that 'community building' of like-minded people is unrealistic at present. I live in a small remote town where most are not well off and some are trying to build community - restoring the historical society, re-building the bakers oven from the 1880s, community dinners and meetings.....but I'm fairly sure that if I introduced the topic of collapse, I would be ridiculed. I guess the thing is to hang in there until some disaster focuses everyone's attention - but by then, it's probably too late.
Only my neighbor is 'collapse aware' - probably the only person I personally know who is - but we are both so busy trying to build a life raft, that we rarely interact!
I think that's a really important part of it too - the cost of living crisis, job uncertainty due to factors like AI, parents working full time and trying to juggle childcare - everyone's already spread too thin. Until the crisis is on your doorstep, how do you justify making the time to talk about it, let alone prepare for it?
I personally practice Spiritual Solitude. It’s in the silence from the world that I can hear the whisper of the Holy Realm. Being out in nature also connects me to the beauty Gods creation.
Yay, really glad you are openly exploring this. I have not found the kind of mythic, almost porno-level romanticised version of “community” that people cannot stop posting about, and every time I tried to find it, saw it didn’t exist and then in that “in group”, was pathologized. I think the best we can work with here in the US and other deeply individualized countries and cultures is what you suggest here- come together as a loose network to do a shared thing- like growing food, etc- and then when the task is done, go back to individual lives. No need for shared ideology, or even solid, healthy people skills, just basic cooperation around absolute needs. I get the critique of this, including that when collapse is really underway in our regions, as it is in South Asia, it won’t be realistic to live this way, but honestly I see no real, widespread ability and willingness for anything, except this.
"Staying within the system requires a daily performance of normalcy that feels like a lie. Leaving the system, yet remaining tethered to people who still believe in it, creates a friction that burns through mental energy."
So apt at this time of year, Sarah, thank you! I pull out of most social engagements now as even after almost 40 years of practice at living the lie, it feels increasingly pointless.
My husband, a big drinker and party-goer of 25 years wouldn't ever hear mention of collapse, peak oil or climate change etc., and shut me down from the outset when my children were babies - 25 years of denial and ridicule to both the children and friends....
Needless to say, our relationship didn't survive, but my children, with families of their own now, while kind, are no different to my ex, so if I wish to see them and the grandchildren, any mention of collapse is not tolerated, and I must pretend to be 'normal' - so I play along and discuss schooling, clothes, hair, and holidays.....
At age 74 I live on top of a mountain alone, planting nut trees and accumulating things for the family for when collapse comes. I still work to pay the bills. The family know, but it is taboo to ever acknowledge or ask anything about this exquisitely beautiful place, and they never visit, so I soldier on alone and in increasing silence.
Of course, if I die before everyone is collapse-aware, my children will sell this place. I don't mind as perhaps it will benefit the wildlife!
Thanks again for a great post!
Diana, I identify with what you have written, as I had a similar experience and am also 74 !
You are doing something beautiful and gifted for the beautiful place you create. That is such a worthwhile legacy that will bring benefit , maybe not to family but there are others who will appreciate what you have done.
Being called a “doomer ‘ and told not to talk about this , is a heavy price to pay to maintain relationships 💝 You are not alone in this experience. We have sold our farm and now live simply and will adapt to what collapse unfolds for us. This has made me mentally and physically and spiritually strong and I am grateful for it all.
Thank you Susan, for your kind words and support which are indeed a comfort. I am so glad you feel strong and glad too that you have someone to share with.
Being silenced is indeed a heavy price to pay to maintain relationships, but is also frustrating, knowing there is so much they could learn, do, and even enjoy. But we love our own unconditionally, so must just accept humanity's fatal denial flaw!
Thanks a lot for this! I was beginning to wonder when someone of my highly estimated writers on the topic would hit the spot on pretty much my considerations and, ultimately, exact situation.
Excellent post.
I expect I'm not the only person to experience last week a sense of detachment while spending time with family, children and grandchildren, who are still not fully awake but tied up with quotidian family life within the orbit of the Machine.
It is difficult, but we return to our lone wolf lives, hoping to find others, and hoping that our own pack will rejoin us in the "wilderness" when they are ready.
The so called wilderness to which we exile ourselves is actually a very rich place to be. And there are others finding it as the new world emerges.
Aim for self reliant and self sufficient, but know that that is not enough, just steps on the road.
This is the way.
Great piece! For normal people speaking to normal people (as opposed to climate professionals being paid to speak to people who mostly understand the sitch), attempting to build a collapse aware community is basically impossible.
A stealth networking approach is a wonderful idea. Here’s a passage from something I put on Medium a couple years ago:
“The majority of the non-bunker survival crowd stresses the importance of community building and I’m no different. I just think you should get somewhere that provides a decent chance of survival first. I don’t want my kids to be safe, but miserable. I don’t want them to have no social life at all and no hope of finding a mate. And building community isn’t only about social impacts. Having trustworthy people you can rely on in emergencies is a huge survival advantage. Unfortunately, if you’ve ever tried to engage friends, family, coworkers and neighbors about our impending collapse, you’ll understand just how hard it is to build a community that doesn’t want to be built. So do your best, but please understand this one important and strategic bit. Anybody who knows that you’re preparing for collapse and who isn’t also preparing for collapse is a potential threat when the shit hits the fan.”
What you’re proposing above is an intelligent way to sidestep this little conundrum.
What we really need is some
Collapse aware, computer savvy person to build a site where we can highlight a general area on a map and indicate our preparedness level. Could range from looking to buy land all the way to having a fully off grid, self sufficient homestead. Would allow for planning and networking without trying to create a commune out of whole cloth.
I think overcoming the 'ignorance is bliss' mindset here is difficult. It's hard to fault people ignoring their impending doom, when they've been told for decades that doom is impending. Sandwich boards saying 'the end is nigh' are hardly a modern occurrence. You're absolutely right that finding like-minded folk is difficult but essential. Building a community for the 'after' (whatever after looks like - if there's an after at all) is key, but until the aforementioned doom is on people's doorsteps (literally - whether that's flood, fire or famine) I think any suggestion of community building will seem far-fetched silliness to most.
Yes, sadly, I agree that 'community building' of like-minded people is unrealistic at present. I live in a small remote town where most are not well off and some are trying to build community - restoring the historical society, re-building the bakers oven from the 1880s, community dinners and meetings.....but I'm fairly sure that if I introduced the topic of collapse, I would be ridiculed. I guess the thing is to hang in there until some disaster focuses everyone's attention - but by then, it's probably too late.
Only my neighbor is 'collapse aware' - probably the only person I personally know who is - but we are both so busy trying to build a life raft, that we rarely interact!
I think that's a really important part of it too - the cost of living crisis, job uncertainty due to factors like AI, parents working full time and trying to juggle childcare - everyone's already spread too thin. Until the crisis is on your doorstep, how do you justify making the time to talk about it, let alone prepare for it?
Thank you Sarah. It was a pleasure to read.
I personally practice Spiritual Solitude. It’s in the silence from the world that I can hear the whisper of the Holy Realm. Being out in nature also connects me to the beauty Gods creation.
Yay, really glad you are openly exploring this. I have not found the kind of mythic, almost porno-level romanticised version of “community” that people cannot stop posting about, and every time I tried to find it, saw it didn’t exist and then in that “in group”, was pathologized. I think the best we can work with here in the US and other deeply individualized countries and cultures is what you suggest here- come together as a loose network to do a shared thing- like growing food, etc- and then when the task is done, go back to individual lives. No need for shared ideology, or even solid, healthy people skills, just basic cooperation around absolute needs. I get the critique of this, including that when collapse is really underway in our regions, as it is in South Asia, it won’t be realistic to live this way, but honestly I see no real, widespread ability and willingness for anything, except this.